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Monday, March 19, 2012

Moments in time....

I enjoyed some very rare time to myself yesterday and went to have my eyebrows threaded whilst Daddy Bear took control of the honeypot.  As I was driving home in the sunshine with (gasp!) adult music playing on the radio instead of our usual pirate tunes kids CD, I started thinking of some moments imprinted in my brain that no matter how fuzzy everything else becomes, seem to stay as clear as the moment in which I was experiencing them.  They are not all momentous, fabulous moments filled with joy and may not even be the most important moment in the sequence of events of which they occurred, but nonetheless, for some reason they have a clarity and freshness in my mind and often surface with the sound of a familiar song, smell or feeling.

I have narrowed it down to 5, even though I am sure as soon as I post this 10 more will be begging for my attention.  None is more important than the other so I am going to reveal them in chronological order:

1. We went to a horse show every summer as children and would camp at the showgrounds whilst my Dad would compete.  I vividly remember walking the dirt road to the arena from the camp grounds first thing in the mornings as Garth Brooks' songs played on the loud speaker to start the day.  This is no doubt where my love for his music sprang from and to this day if the weather is right and I hear one of those familiar songs, I am transported back to being a child enjoying carefree days in the sun with friends, horses, dust, freedom and fun.

2.  My first dealing with the sickness and death of a family member happened when my Pop got sick not long before Daddy Bear and I were engaged.  The first time I visited him in hospital I was shocked and not at all sure how to take it.  Me being me, I held a brave face at the hospital and all the way home, had dinner, showered and went to bed.  Hours later I was still holding a brave face and unable to sleep.  I felt though my reality had been shaken and that I was somehow watching myself experience this sadness rather than actually allowing myself to feel it.  Daddy Bear pulled me to his chest, I let my guard down and allowed myself to feel.  I bawled for hours, which he allowed me to do for as long as it took.  Glamorous- no, the stuff of real love- absolutely.

3.  I still chuckle when I remember the day Daddy Bear and I married.  I had kept the dress a surprise and I am sure he didn't know what to expect.  I walked down the aisle for the first time, took his hand and he whispered in my ear "you look smokin' babe".  I mentioned it to him once a few years ago and he did not even remember saying it which makes me laugh even more.




4.  I cannot remember much of my labour with Mr. A other than it was long and exhausting.  The rest is a blur no doubt caused by tiredness and hormones.  However, etched in my mind as clear as could be is my first words as Mr. A finally arrived earthside.  After a chaotic delivery in a room full of doctors, nurses, hustle and bustle, I looked to Daddy Bear and through tears said "you are a Daddy". 




5.  The night that Baby G arrived earthside I was tired, weak and ready for sleep.  I snuggled in bed with her and found myself unable to sleep as I spent the majority of the night gazing with amazement at the beautiful lady we had created and I had just birthed.  I clearly remember thinking to myself that I should take in every smell, movement and memory of the moment I was experiencing.  There is nothing as special as those first few hours after bringing another soul into the world and it is not a privilege one gets to experience often.  My mind still lovingly escapes to this precious memory and my heart overflows with love and gratitude when I hear of another baby being welcomed safely into the world.

I wish I could say that all of my moments involve me looking effortlessly cute with my hair and makeup done but it is far from the case- when I was crying I was no doubt using a toilet roll to blow my nose and when I was a child enjoying the carefree summers at the horse show I was a tomboy kid wearing lycra bike shorts (I shudder thinking of this visual image but hey- it was the 90's!), dirty from long days playing in dust and sun.  That is what life is though I think- unglamourous sometimes, perfect in others....real. 

I think certain memories and experiences come together to make the patchwork of our life, a patchwork that is constantly growing and evolving.  No patchwork is more beautiful or well sewn than others and each memory and experience is as beautiful and the individual who it belongs to.  So, if you ask me, we should crank up that music, enjoy life and reminisce our cherished memories with gratitude in our hearts. 

How about you? Do you have moments in time that have a clarity and freshness no matter how much time has passed?

7 comments:

  1. Those are the big moments though! I love hearing about the moments that you would think aren't worth remembering....or that changed your life without you realising at the time you know?

    Like....I remember really clearly a pink donut I had when I was pregnant with Tiana. I never liked pink donuts so it was a shock and it made me realise just how much being pregnant could change you lol.

    Ummmm, what about your old house - we used to walk in out of the heat and your mum would always have a really cold drink and a huge smile. She always looked so young (still does!)

    Or, sitting at my first ever ABA meeting and talking to this strange woman with dreadlocks who had 8 (yes 8!) children all of whom were homeschooled and homebirthed. I asked her the silliest questions (like is it legal to birth a baby at home?) - she is now one of me best friends and my entire life changed the moment I met her!

    Now it's your turn ;)

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  2. What a beautiful post, Chels! I loved reading about your moments. I have many moments like this too - fresh and clear in my memory. Some strange and some profound. I remember the moment a doctor told me I had cancer. That feeling in my stomach is still so clear... followed by the embrace with Phil hours later when we both stopped packing my bags for hospital and just cried our hearts out. Oh God, Chels, I can feel my own blog post coming on. Okay, composing myself... I will never forget the moment Miss A first said 'Mama'. I literally dropped my spoon (was cooking) and it hit me that there was a little person in this world who would call me 'mama'. I also remember silly things, like waking up early one morning in Bali (about 10 years ago) and eating sweet bananas and condensed milk coffee as I watched the sunrise over the rice fields. It was magic.

    Sorry about the long comment! What wonderful thoughts you have expressed. A patchwork indeed. x

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    1. Deb- I love what you remember about Miss A first saying Mama and I would love to read a blog post about your memories- you always write so eloquently and honestly xxx

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  3. I love hearing peoples moments- thanks Jess!

    For me, moments that play no real significance but I remember clearly are: ringing the old fashioned bell at primary school, mum calling me in from the sandpit (at my request) on a Friday night to watch better homes and gardens during my crafting phase, Daddy bear stroking my hair as I fell asleep on a long drive long not long into our new relationship, my nan finger-curling my hair with bobby pins in the caravan whilst we sung show tunes together, mum making double choc-chip muffins to take the boys football games and dad timing my speeches with a stop watch whilst I would practice during Year 12....the list goes on, and on, and on and on LOL!

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    1. Beaautiful, Chels! I love hearing more things that you remember! x

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  4. Chels I remember the day I met you in year 7 at SHC. You were sitting by yourself about 3rd row back in the class and I walked in and sat right beside you, introduced myself and that's where our friendship began :) We may not talk that much these days, mostly online - but I still consider you a good friend and love that when we do catch up face to face, it's like we saw each other yesterday and we just continue the conversation from where we left off :)

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    1. Thanks chickie, you are a legend! Oh, how I remember 7S hahahaha!

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